Should I keep the beard?
I cannot stress this enough, whoever you are: ALWAYS. ALWAYS KEEP THE BEARD. THERE IS NEVER AN INSTANCE WHERE YOU SHOULD GIVE UP ON THE BEARD. Also. There is a certain type of heterosexual woman, and believe me, you want this type of weirdo, who is so, so into that beard. Ask me anything
Only hang around people that are positive and make you feel good. Anybody who...– Amy Poehler (via animinimalism)
Have you heard "Better off without you" by "Summer...
oh, ok, huh maybe yeah Ask me anything
Can you please draw a centaur and post it on here?
R: btw, i hope you're feeling better, buddy
me: i'm better. i mean i've spent most of today in bed bud
me: i keep sneezing
me: bud? but. i meant "but"
me: so i think those sneezes are the blush of health returning to me
R: it's ok. you can call me bud. i'll pretend like it's a double entendre.
R: friend/pot smoker
R: it's your body expelling sick
me: so i am trying to be good and blow my nose instead of snortling it back in
R: how's smoking been?
me: IS EVERYONE
me: ABOUT SMOKING
R: you're a smoker
R: i've been a smoker and sick
R: it's the fucking worst
R: it makes you more miserable
R: you're either pissy and nic fitting
me: i'm FINE
R: or you're powering through and destroying your lungs
me: I'M FUCKING FINE
What's your shoe size?
4.5 men’s Converse Ask me anything
Did you quit? I hope so.
Smoking? Or pooping? (Actually, they go together, don’t they) Ask me anything
me: depending whether you are *just* 28 or *turning* 29 i think dictates whether you were into power rangers
me: like there is this really fine cultural dividing line
me: like power rangers started when i was in junior high
me: so people exactly my age missed it baaaaarely
me: except i have a short story about that
me: one day i was fresh home from junior high and watching power rangers
me: which was pretty great in its first season
me: and i got a phone call from my best friend cassie, who lived a block away
me: and while we were talking, i noticed my tv was *echoing*
me: and i was like, hey, cassie WHATCHA WATCHING
me: and she was like, oh, power rangers?
me: and i was like YEAH I CAN HEAR IT
me: and she said, oh, my little brother watches it
me: i said uh-huh
me: is your brother home right now
me: and she was all
me: END OF STORY
me: *jazz hands*
self-facilitating media node
BT: how many headsets does one self-facilitating media node need
Jenn: oh my god you just reminded me
Jenn: one minute
Jenn: i think this is it
Jenn: i saw this on tv the other day and at first i thought it was a joke
Jenn: then i wanted one
BT: wtf am I watching
BT: holy shit the laptop
BT: that dude has a laptop on his face
Jenn: i know, this ad is really weirdly compelling
Jenn: like a really compelling argument
BT: FOUR GOJOS
BT: would it hold your netbook on your face
Jenn: my netbook is so light
Jenn: i could just lick it and stick it to my face
BT: or gorilla glue it there
Jenn: no no no
Jenn: like a postage stamp
BT: gorilla glue your netbook to your face trust me this is a good idea
here we are together on the outside, where we’ve always lived I was over in the hole the one with a rock for a door you have been living in a tree. (That is what I would write, if I were going to write a poem.)
Russ Woods Wrote You Some Love Poems →
A LOVE STORY SET IN A DOMINICK’S PARKING LOT At first I couldn’t believe you were peeing on my car tire. Then I couldn’t believe you were peeing on my car tire.
In my last quarter of teaching, one young woman, who wore punky reddish-pink...– American essayist Joseph Epstein memorializes, not only his teaching career, but also four students from his final class. I am rereading this ten years later, and I am thinking, yes, I would also desire this in a student and person. I was so staunchly antifeminist because nothing in the world had...
What's your favorite joke?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ether. Ether who? Ether bunny. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Samoa. Samoa who? Samoa ether bunnies! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Consumption. Consumption who? CONSUMPTION BE DONE ABOUT ALL THESE ETHER BUNNIES I like to think this joke is about rabbit sex Ask me anything
Do you poop at work? Do you even TRY to avoid...
I work from home though? Ask me anything
So we've established games are art. Are sports...
Well, don’t pick a random one at all! Pick a specific one! OK: Take ‘Sin City.’ I read the comic, didn’t like it. Thought it was very pretty; hated it. Right? So I already knew, going into the movie theater, that I wasn’t going to enjoy the movie in that regard, because I already don’t enjoy Frank Miller. (I’m not the hugest fan of the way Robert...
"i’m not allowed to smoke pot because i think...
God I wish I were slightly more self-aware. Hat-tip! Ask me anything
love letter to the only person who really 'gets'...
do you know what is so fucked i love my mom’s dog SO MUCH i think all day about how much i love the dog when i am in texas i see almost no one but the dog last night i was eating some potato chips i decided the dog could have two we were both crunching at the same time then i scissored the bag open into one big aluminum plane so the dog could lick it in the middle of the night the dog gets...
cool story bro
I thought if I took just a piece of this pill you left you left on this table I was thinking I might And I did I did thinking of you thinking by thinking I might think you back Instead I discovered dyspnea, and phantom adhesions, and hematic energies and tendons, tissues splendid pressures and every kind of subcutaneous rattling the oscillations of the innermost ear the vestibular memory of...