Archive / RSS

I'm Jenn. I live in Chicago. I write for Evil Beet Gossip. I also write Infinite Lives.

I'm 29 years old and I like stuff.

P.S. I have many hobbies. Fuck Yeah GBA is over here, JENN FRANK'S FAVORITE BOOKS FOR KIDS is here, Stop Looking at Me is here, and We Hate Your Childhood is here. I also keep a diary. Least of all, I built and edit this. OK, catch you later.

P.P.S. PLAY ME

jennatar - XBL; PSN; apple; steam; nethernet; words with friends; KoL
7533 7668 4827 8475 - Wii

foodament

  • Jenn: oh the job fair was wonderful
  • Jenn: i walked in eating chicken strips
  • Conci: HAHAHA
  • Jenn: a guy from the army gave me a bag
  • Conci: We used to eat a lot of those.
  • Jenn: so i could put away my chicken strips
  • Jenn: i said "oh thank you" and just carried it
  • Jenn: ben cherry walked up to me
  • Jenn: and he said
  • Conci: JAJAJAHAHAHAJAJAJA
  • Jenn: he SAID TO ME
  • Jenn: "seriously jenn shouldn't you start thinking about your future"
  • Jenn: i was wearing a lime green shirt with japanese kanji on it
  • Jenn: and lime green dress slacks
  • Conci: Ben Cherry! That's a name I haven't heard in years!
  • Jenn: i was like
  • Jenn: "ben
  • Jenn: "it's on lockdown
  • Jenn: "look at this upward trajectory"
  • Jenn: *eats a chicken tender*
  • Jenn: oh with MAYONNAISE
  • Jenn: i think that's the part that really horrified people
  • Conci: I love mayonaise and hot sauce.
  • Conci: Or mayonaise and bbq.
  • Conci: AND cheese sauce.
  • Jenn: mmm
  • Jenn: yeah i was mixing mayo and ketchup because the bbq sauce was always so bad in uh
  • Conci: OMG how did I not weigh 5000 lbs...
  • Jenn: what was the name of our food center
  • Jenn: kellogg school of foodament
  • Conci: Probably because as much as I ate that stuff I'd forget to eat 2-3 other meals.
  • Conci: Norris.
  • Jenn: well and we hoofed and biked everywhere
  • Jenn: ah yes, "norris foodent center"
  • Conci: Allison.
  • Conci: nice
  • Jenn: "allison fooding hall"
  • Jenn: "tech"
  • Conci: Oh god, Tech...
  • Conci: Puke in its initial state.
  • Jenn: no i lost weight in college because i ok i worked out at a gym but ALSO i started smoking but ALSO i was eating relatively square meals
  • Jenn: but every morning that meal was
  • Jenn: vanilla ice cream
  • Jenn: topped with
  • Jenn: froot loops
  • Jenn: and for lunch
  • Conci: Good lord.
  • Jenn: a grilled cheese sandwich
  • Conci: No wonder you have a brain tumor.

Comments (View)

wedding dresses

  • Jenn: CONCI YOU FUCKING TWERP
  • Jenn: that is BEAUTIFUL
  • Conci: Did you just call me a twerp?!
  • Jenn: yes
  • Conci: I thought you'd like it.
  • Jenn: "oh la i sent you a little photo maybe you'll be interested la la"
  • Jenn: FUCK YOU
  • Jenn: that is AWESOME
  • Conci: hahaha
  • Jenn: i love the uh the structure in the top and the flowy OH you know why you like it?
  • Jenn: because it's totally MARILYN
  • Conci: Best part 2011 end-of-year sample sale...75% off.
  • Jenn: it's got marilyn tits
  • Jenn: i love it
  • Conci: Oh I know. I actually went in with 1000 pictures of Marilyn and Marilyn-esque dresses.
  • Jenn: yeah i think that is the best most flattering cinched-waist flowy sleeveless dress i have seen
  • Jenn: just the right amount of tit
  • Jenn: "church tit"
  • Conci: I told Nihki I wanted sleek and stunning...like Marilyn.
  • Jenn: i am obsessed with this idea
  • Jenn: there is a perfect amount of cleavage
  • Conci: Nice.
  • Jenn: that really makes you look dressed up
  • Jenn: too little
  • Jenn: and you look like a farmer
  • Jenn: too much and you're a strumpet
  • Jenn: hard for us bosomy girls to find that UH DIVIDE, IF YOU WILL
  • Conci: I'm naming my wedding the farmer and the strumpet.
  • Jenn: oh my god
  • Jenn: please also theme it that way
  • Jenn: JK JK
  • Conci: I think I'd be murdered in my sleep by various people.
  • Jenn: so i am obsessed with the perfect amount of cleavage being, like, the most important accessory you can nail down
  • Conci: ABSOLUTELY!
  • Conci: Most dresses just aren't usually made for those of us with boobs, unless you have A LOT of excess everywhere else.
  • Jenn: yeah
  • Conci: Particularly if you delve into the over DD range.
  • Conci: It's infuriating.
  • Conci: I want to get famous enough to have someone design the Conci line for the short and well-endowed.
  • Conci: VERY well endowed.
  • Jenn: short and very well endowed
  • Jenn: ugh
  • Jenn: nailed it
  • Jenn: "try to look sleek ladies"
  • Jenn: uh
  • Jenn: i am the brick shithouse of femininity
  • Conci: hahaha

Comments (View)

Alas we are not real life friends. Yet.

Oh. Well you are correct that I love trivia and reasonably-priced beer. What is your town’s trivia night like

Ask me anything

Comments (View)

Wanna go to my bar’s trivia night with me? You get to pick the team name.

Wow! Sure! I will pick a name that is super embarrassing. Are we already friends? How much I embarrass us hinges on whether I know you and/or how far I have to travel to get to trivia night.

Ask me anything

Comments (View)

What makes you happy?

“to be the eyes and ears and conscience of the creator of the universe”

Ask me anything

Comments (View)

Comments (View)
this is a thing I’m going to start putting up in bathrooms, for real

this is a thing I’m going to start putting up in bathrooms, for real

Comments (View)
Look what I found! (and didn’t even know was lost) (Taken with instagram)

Look what I found! (and didn’t even know was lost) (Taken with instagram)

Comments (View)

Comments (View)

blockbuster night

  • Guy: So you just want to re-rent these.
  • Me: Yes, please.
  • Guy: Didn't get a chance to watch 'em?
  • Me: Well...! HOW am I supposed to make time for 'The Client List' when 'Untouchable: the Drew Peterson Story' was on Lifetime tonight.
  • Guy: You can't!
  • Me: I know!
  • Other guy: She'll save money if she just keeps them.
  • Me: What's that?
  • Other guy: It's 99 cents for every day overdue. So just pay the 99 cents, instead of paying a dollar 99 to rent them again.
  • Me: Ooh.
  • Guy: Wanna do that instead?
  • Me: [puts DVDs in purse] Thanks for saving me two dollars!
  • Guy: Yeah!
  • Me: Unless this is going to affect my credit rating.
  • Guy: Oh, no. They don't actually ever see--
  • Me: I'm kidding.
  • Guy: Oh, OK.

Comments (View)